Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Common Sense in The Middle of Troubling Night


It's your deepest sacred little cave you are craving in. 
So much things to say yet so little time to evolve
Many things to achieve yet chances to aim are beyond limit.


And then again, I'm glad that eventually I still get to talk to the soul inside my head. And then again, making this as a sweet little escape where I could go alone without anyone sneaking on me. One of the places I could go on only with my thoughts besides toilet, (yup, you guess).

Things are getting crowded and hectic these day, (and I wouldn't be here either if life was okay).
Well, things and stuffs were pretty okay apparently. But deep down, I somehow feel lost every time I pause a bit and take a look back at how I want my life supposed to be. And one thing you could take as a self motivation to keep going is that; this, what you are doing is part of the process. May all you do this time will be useful for you someday somehow.

Particularly I am doing my internship now. Internship as the part of my study program. And yup, you will be asked to do an internship at least 90 days in an institution that fulfills all the requirement of the internship program syllabus from campus. And these days been lovely with little gravels coming on ways, but all still goes well. Alhamdulillah.

I wasn't really have a problem coming on the work field, or maybe not yet, I'm not so sure myself. (Internship report still haunts me, though). But one thing for sure is, I'm here not to talk about my internship program. Why I am here because I seek for silence, for only me and my thought.
On how I love just to write all those troubling minds down, to the someone or something that doesn't beg to be recognize neither appreciated, but I will anyway. That is where your heart belongs.

Why oh why, maybe this is why I am not yet looking forward to a relationship. I hate being in constant yet boring narrative (which I would like to be excluded from, lol), I hate being chained to things, even more if that things bring me no luck neither bliss. I hate people nag me to just listen to them, to talk to them, and even to accompany them.... (in a most situation you don't even think of needing a companion, mostly).

But most of all, I hate them for making me do the things I don't even willing to. That is very okay, if you really need my help, or when I'm not mager, or when I'm not just tired and having bad mood. But still, I hate it when they make me to do things. It's been so long nobody demanded me (except my lecturer, lol). I just hate it when somebody ask so many things too much, and even too often.

And to that mostly, I'm not even a chattel. I'm not even liking it to get demanded to do things especially when I'm tired, meanwhile all I wanna do is chill and be at ease, at least. Seems like little things like that is just too much to ask for already. I just don't get it sometimes.
But maybe its just the way we live, or maybe its just how the world supposed to be, or maybe its just how the life should roll on. Or may, it's just a thing of being a part of what so called; family.

Why the hell is common sense being taken for granted?
Where in the world I could find or buy it?
Why common sense is such a hard thing to find?
Why oh my God.

The thing is, I will never ask much.
Just me and myself, let alone having thoughts and write.
Let alone be at ease.

Yet silence; personal space; simply not getting bad mood; chilling; being at ease; not waking up to nothing to do then getting bizarre and unexpected bad mood, are yet little things that is seemed to be hard to achieve right now. But instead of just complaining and getting no where, I would rather just sit here and do my own shit, on the contrary. If that so, I hope this rant less and thoughtless complain would go along the breeze tonight. Which I would greatly ask because its so hot here with no breeze comes through, lol.

and may routine befriended nicely with me for this 3 month straight. amin.
honest hour by, elctrc.

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