Monday, November 16, 2015

Extremely Grateful

Remember that one year ago I was so desperate, trying out so hard on life only to survive?
Yes, that was hard times but today, that life matters made you who you are now.

I mean, around two years ago I was so relaxed, knowing my self never get into any serious hardship, I was arrogant and spendthrift, until that a year ago something hit me hard, that I was never gonna be the way I used to be anymore.

I was so stressed and really desperate that I was feeling like I'd rather be off of things, and done of everything. it's just that time was really hard that made me think of that time was the hardest part of my life that any effort to survive was really, accountable. that everyday I was still alive was really a fortunate thing to happen.

but still, I was so blessed that I get to pass that time and made to be back home. but matters weren't just stopped there. I was kind of messed up and again taking things for granted bc I was so relieved to finally be back home, like finally comfort zone again. and I was a bit taking my college thing easy.

I got late for class submission that made me go in different class with my friends, and that was kind of frustrating at first, to be honest.. but still, what else can I do, right?
I started to make my self more serious in classes because I know I could not possibly count on anyone. I started to do assignments on time and even made my self a class coordinator, a wow, I know.

but truth to be honest, I'm making serious things on my college life is just because I don't wanna be anymore reckless to take anything ever again for granted, so then I should study seriously in order to not taking anything for granted because everything you thought would stay forever just don't. I'm just trying so hard to be grateful that I could still continue my study until then (and now, alhamdulillah). and that was really hard times for me, I know.

until my 20th birthday, I was so grateful that finally I was able reaching out my 20th year and staying alive, and that its just a thing you thought yourself wasn't capable to do. its just I didn't even know that I could reach this far, and that its just heart-warming and again, fortunate. alhamdulullah.

and now, I know, things don't always as good as it seems, but its also don't always have to as bad as its actually is becaaaause you could still look after the infinite blessings if you just try to look on the other side, not only focusing on the negative ones. and that its just another way I learned life.

like really, you could not possibly learn any thing new if life doesn't give you new hardship to overcome, right? and practically I am grateful for the things that happened that it again make me feel like human, because it keeps giving me sorrow and the downs, but still, even after I fall really hard I could also learn to fly again really high, and that was just another thing to be grateful of.

what I was trying to say, is that, I just calling out my family members, asking how they have been and how I missed them, I know I just have to do this because your every little care would actually mean the world to them, like every time they did the same to me.

I am just so grateful that even on our uncompromising situation right now,
I still have so many things to be grateful of.
that life matter that used to bother you so much, now is just another little matter you have to ditch and not giving too much attention because storm will actually pass.
and what's really matters now, is your family, because they are the one who;s gonna love you unconditionally and that unconditional love would bring you to another stars, and that is just beyond explanation.

Alhamdulillah. :)

best gratitude, Ela A.

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