Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Listen: Mengeluh dan Bercerita. :')

i was so mad that everyone keep telling me what to do. i just wanna be me in my own way, is it that hard to ask for?

gimana ya, emang ngga tau lagi sensi apa gimana tapi sebel banget. sebel banget aja sampe gatau mau mulai dari mana, sampe gatau poin-poin apa aja yang mau gue coba ceritain kali ini.

i was so mad that everyone's judging me like i was the only one who holds the title of the drama queen. i'm not quite like making scenarios in my head. i think its just so funny to make some odd scenarios in my head and share it all to you, see if some of you might get it and laugh it out loud together as we used to do all the time, but too bad you all, some times or most of the times, minconcepting it all. i was all okay but remembering how its getting worse and hurtful back then, maybe losing it all would be just perfect.

i was so mad that everyone's telling me that they're annoyed to read sth in half English and half Bahasa. kalo lagi pengen ngetik dan males mikir ya jadi sekeluarnya aja, kan. does it really matter to you? you don't even have to read it if you don't want to from the start, like please.

i was so mad that everyone's saying i was that cheesy and disgusting creature as fuck for being... guess what? poetic. being poetic doesnt mean you're that gay, i mean being poetic is being so detailed about everything you want to share with others. things you typed words by words making it to sound so beautiful so others can feel it too. being sensitive doesn't mean you're weak, nah?
and also being poetic is not only when you've got sth to say to someone on opposite sex that you are too shy to say it out loud, being poetic doesnt always mean code. hadeh apaan lagi sih emang, bentar-bentar dibilang kode, apa-apa dibilang kode, semua aja dibilang kode.
being poetic is the feeling of beautiful sentences and rhymes that you want others to feel the same bliss as you just by reading those, just as simple as that.

i was so mad that everyone's keep admitting that i am not the way i am. who the hell are you keep admitting me that way? you are not me. you don't know me that way, you don't know me at all, you just don't have to, and i also never force you to do so.
the fact is i only showed you, i only told you, things i want you to know. that doesn't mean i'm lying all this time, i just don't wanna be too honest. i just don't trust you enough and i think that some things are better kept as privacy, some things are not meant to share, means that it will be better if you keep it by yourself. some things others might not understand the way you do. i'm just not ready yet to face what society would react.
and also that doesn't mean i'm being hypocrite or naive for the way i am now. i only share happiness not sorrow. beautiful people are better surrounded by a nice ambiance too right?
that doesn't mean i don't want to take you to get through my ups and downs together, it just means that i still think i can handle these by myself..

all i ask is just a companion not a judgement, not an argument, not even a single disturbing instruction of what you told me not to do.

support me for doing good deeds, just don't be afraid of sth will hurt me dad, i will and i am going abroad and not a lil bit of you have to worry about that because i am all okay, acknowledge that your little daughter is now all by her self.

just acknowledge that some times you just need something to hear all your stories, without you having any anxiety that the thing will misconcept you, misunderstand you, judge you or even leaving you behind. because in the end all somebody ever ask for is someone to simply listen.

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