Saturday, November 3, 2012

hello again!

hello all! how are you going so far?!

im very sorry for not posting anything for the whole October. i've been very busy with all the things that really screwed my mind. school kills, teachers, tasks, exams, i was too tired for those high-school matters. and now my school is also arranging our yealy tournament called Smanitra Cup and Im one of the competition's coordinators, and it is Rally Photo Competition. i thought it would be fun yet so tiring... and yeah it is.

even more, i lost my laptop and camera in October. someone stole them from me. it was the painters, he came into my house and stole them without anyone knew because there was no one in my house. too bad. i gave him trust but he just threw it away, may God give you the best place in afterlife. i was too sad, i cried all over the night, i was scared, i wasn't ready to lose things that used to stick me all around :' and i was too tired of all the matters, i slept with my tears falling down and sadness in it.

but life is getting harder. i should do some task using computer, and unfortunately my only computer is my only one laptop. i was stressed out, really stressed out.

i have to finish my project using camera, and too bad now i didnt have any. i was scared, i felt very bad for my dad, bcs it was him who bought me those things and now i lost them all. Maaf banget papa, sampe sekarang aku belum berani bilang huhu

i was confused, i was stressed out, i was lost, i didn't know what should i do firstly, schools kills, people sucks, life preasures me down. i was totally depressed and down, and sadly no one was even there to support me, to cheer me or at least talk to me.

my dad hated me, my mom did the same. im used to it.

i have nothing, i have no one. who else can i lean onto?

yes i know this is so sad, i almost make my self cry remembering how hard that time was, i thought i couldn't go through that hard time, but yet alhamdulillah im still alive. :'

i know i was stupid, i was silly. i was thinking to take a break on everything. i want to stop the pain, i want to stop the world from preasurring me much more. i dont want to live, and i was serious with my words.


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