Tuesday, July 25, 2017


Many said if it was easy, then it was never worth it.
Many said, if it never meant to you, you will never had it.
No matter what you do, no matter how much effort you have put.

My aunty once said, if somebody has taken away from you,
or they're gone, or they're got away,
; it's their lost, or maybe they're no longer bring good to you,
and surely God will replace them with a better one.

And that will have to happen several times, not only once.
Remembering its still too early to judge what love has to be,
and how you define love itself. Its still too early.

And this evening, I just got back to my dorm room to an eventful dinner with my labkom friends. They are indeed the ones I spent most of my times with these past recent months already. From the arranging and working on my concept book on computer lab, until now I have officially occupy the room next door - which is Studio Tugas Akhir. But I'm glad I still got to meet them everyday despite our same but different kind of busy. I think its sweet how we care for each others in a different way. I know I'm not really close with them on a daily basis and before, but their company do keep me company.

It's again that time I realized how we enjoyed one another; when none of them asked to go back home, and I had to ask a skeptical question on how come nobody had the tiniest intention of going back. Then we were back, sometimes being on our own phone spending our time quietly together, and sometimes having our little chats over dumb conversations - and how nobody didn't want to end that, lol. You guys are so sweet, I can't. haha.

Okay, that story has never really been in my mind before this, but it think its sweet enough to me now and I'm kinda have to cherish it, lol. And honestly that matter wasn't the one that urges me to write. It was this;

***** disclaimer: *****
 the story below is the real motive of why I'm writing this time,
its again about how my feelings cringe towards boys, and you've been warned. 

Thursday, July 20, 2017

The Broken Arms

She said she's getting used of people come and go, 
of people leaving, 
of what came through then faded. 
Getting used to it till it hurts no more, 
till she cant break another part. 
But deep down, it still aches, however.

She had enough of feeling sorry for herself, 
she had enough apologizing whether she's hard to love, 
she cant help to do anything as well.

Then here she was, 
standing to emptiness of the mind full of thought 
whether she could bear, 
that maybe, its not her who's hard to love, 
that maybe just maybe; 
she just haven't been loved by the right person. 
Just yet, oh m'dear.

Bear it a little more, she beg for the sake of her sanity.
I begged her.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

(The Thoughts of) Moving Out. (ii)

I felt like I have to continue working on this post because somehow I managed to put a "(i)" in the end of the title of this post -> Moving Out. (i), which means its a continuous post, lel. (Don't know whether this post will be the last series or not, haha).

I knew it from the start, when I began to write on the previous post, it would only tell about my insecurities and anxiety of moving out because somehow it was only a thought since I hadn't really doing it (I mean like steps of moving out incl packing ma stuff), but once you're start doing and moving your asses off, the worries started to come off little by little.

After planing my to do list, I began to had it one by one. I searched for available rooms and checked, met the landlord and discuss about the bill and payment. Some of it didn't really fulfill my requirement, but after days of uncertainty I finally met one which humane enough to me. Then I reported my thoughts and plans to my parents and they were okay as well. And I get back meeting the Ibu Kos and made my first deal payment, then I started to pack my things one by one. It was indeed confusing, realizing I got so many stuff to pack and how to sort these stuffs according to their use, but it all packed anyway, lel.

From The Dining Table

I've met somebody I thought "the one" and ended up it was just nothing.
I've came to a feeling, when I was already being too comfortable 
over somebody's companion; that his presence didn't hurt,
and ended up hurting myself over silence.
I've came to realize, that no matter how bad and hurt I was, 
it would be over once its done.

we haven't spoke since you went away
comfortable silence is so overrated
why wont you ever say what you want to say

Friday, June 30, 2017

Journey on Getting 2/3 Engineering Degree

That as you can see, after getting back from Tangerang I pushed myself enough and dedicated most of my time doing the best I could working on my research, since its due on June 12 if I wanted to do my research result seminar this June (and if I'm not I would have to wait for the next 2 month and I don't wanna postpone no more because I still had to do and pass Final Studio before I did my final seminar). So, this part, my doing research part is still a 2/3 part on getting my engineering degree.