Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Honest, but Guilty, but Honest.

but Guilty, 
but Honest.

But what else?

Duh, honestly I kinda feel guilty because what I am gonna write here is basically a secret everybody has known about, but, du uh. This is my virtual diary and I should've had enough freedom to talk about anything I please, right? But I kind of not so sure, if what's pleasing me kind of gonna hurt anybody else, and also I thought I have enough of talking bad or talking about people behind them, I thought I'm over it just because I think its immature enough to do such things, but now I think that its just the way I am; being way too honest. Hmm. *hard thinking*

Well this is gonna be a long prologue since I am honestly guilty about this, but I still find it funny how universe among us behave in such a ridiculous way at certain times. And this one is the example. And to my curhat dadakan friend, please, this is a no-hurt-feelings kinda post if one time you happened to read about this. And truth to be honest I no longer have feelings for your crush because as you know I'm already got persons who moved me, and I don't even think about him anymore now, as well, lol.

Friday, July 28, 2017


I squander my time over you. It was quite a time, but I don't mind spending it with you. Now that you're long gone, but I still miss the way you make me feel. I miss you even more when you're already gone. Always.
Missing you will always be my favorite thing to do.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017


Many said if it was easy, then it was never worth it.
Many said, if it never meant to you, you will never had it.
No matter what you do, no matter how much effort you have put.

My aunty once said, if somebody has taken away from you,
or they're gone, or they're got away,
; it's their lost, or maybe they're no longer bring good to you,
and surely God will replace them with a better one.

And that will have to happen several times, not only once.
Remembering its still too early to judge what love has to be,
and how you define love itself. Its still too early.

And this evening, I just got back to my dorm room to an eventful dinner with my labkom friends. They are indeed the ones I spent most of my times with these past recent months already. From the arranging and working on my concept book on computer lab, until now I have officially occupy the room next door - which is Studio Tugas Akhir. But I'm glad I still got to meet them everyday despite our same but different kind of busy. I think its sweet how we care for each others in a different way. I know I'm not really close with them on a daily basis and before, but their company do keep me company.

It's again that time I realized how we enjoyed one another; when none of them asked to go back home, and I had to ask a skeptical question on how come nobody had the tiniest intention of going back. Then we were back, sometimes being on our own phone spending our time quietly together, and sometimes having our little chats over dumb conversations - and how nobody didn't want to end that, lol. You guys are so sweet, I can't. haha.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

The Broken Arms

She said she's getting used of people come and go, 
of people leaving, 
of what came through then faded. 
Getting used to it till it hurts no more, 
till she cant break another part. 
But deep down, it still aches, however.

She had enough of feeling sorry for herself, 
she had enough apologizing whether she's hard to love, 
she cant help to do anything as well.

Then here she was, 
standing to emptiness of the mind full of thought 
whether she could bear, 
that maybe, its not her who's hard to love, 
that maybe just maybe; 
she just haven't been loved by the right person. 
Just yet, oh m'dear.

Bear it a little more, she beg for the sake of her sanity.
I begged her.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

(The Thoughts of) Moving Out. (ii)

I felt like I have to continue working on this post because somehow I managed to put a "(i)" in the end of the title of this post -> Moving Out. (i), which means its a continuous post, lel. (Don't know whether this post will be the last series or not, haha).

I knew it from the start, when I began to write on the previous post, it would only tell about my insecurities and anxiety of moving out because somehow it was only a thought since I hadn't really doing it (I mean like steps of moving out incl packing ma stuff), but once you're start doing and moving your asses off, the worries started to come off little by little.

After planing my to do list, I began to had it one by one. I searched for available rooms and checked, met the landlord and discuss about the bill and payment. Some of it didn't really fulfill my requirement, but after days of uncertainty I finally met one which humane enough to me. Then I reported my thoughts and plans to my parents and they were okay as well. And I get back meeting the Ibu Kos and made my first deal payment, then I started to pack my things one by one. It was indeed confusing, realizing I got so many stuff to pack and how to sort these stuffs according to their use, but it all packed anyway, lel.